


I Keep You With Me

by Moriavis



Series: Finding ways to come together [11]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Mild Angst, Mother's Day, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6784387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriavis/pseuds/Moriavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry told his mother first. It isn't exactly fair, because she can't tell him no, but practice makes perfect. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Keep You With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to saekwha for being my kind beta. I gotta stop working this girl to the bone. ♥

~*~

Barry cleared his throat and looked right and left down the small path he was standing in before he turned his attention to the gravestone in front of him. It was a little faded with time, years of wear from the weather making itself known on the stone face, and Barry put his handful of sunflowers in the plastic flower holder next to the marker.

"Happy Mother's Day." Barry smiled, a small pained thing, and reached out to touch the name on the tombstone—Nora Allen. The plot itself didn't look terribly overgrown, and Barry wondered if someone on the grounds had been taking care of her, or if his dad had recently paid a visit. "Sorry I haven't been here recently. It's been...a crazy year. Zoom. We've got a new member to our family. His name's Wally. I think he thinks I hate him, but it's only really because he doesn't know who I am. And he can't know who I am. I mean, he's Joe's son. Iris and I are already neck deep in this crazy superhero stuff, but Wally has a chance to go to college and actually do things in his life that are completely separate from me and what I do with my friends at STAR Labs."

Barry sighed and sat down just off the path, stretching his long legs out into the grass. "And then there's Len, too." Barry ran a hand through his hair. "I keep thinking that if you were here, you'd tell me how crazy I was, but you wouldn't, would you? I'd like to think you'd just give me a hug and tell me to love him for as long as I can, and that's—that's the important part, I guess. The difficult one. He's Captain Cold, you know? He stole things and murdered a lot of people. On the other hand, he's travelling through time _right now_ , saving the future. A future that neither of us are going to see, even, and he's out there protecting it." 

Barry plucked a piece of grass and rolled it between his fingers, staring at it as he talked to his mother, wishing she was actually here to give him advice. "We agreed that we wouldn't be exclusive while he's on the Waverider, but I don't know the last time I even looked at anyone else. I don't even know if he _wants_ me the way I want him." He swallowed, his throat constricting in misery. "I'm not fooling myself anymore. I love him. I haven't even thought about Iris like that in a couple of months, and—I don't know. I loved her for so long, and I guess I just didn't realize I'd changed." He cleared his throat and patted the grass. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you first. You'd tell me to be brave, so…when Len comes back, I'll tell him how I really feel. And we'll go from there. Wish me luck."

Barry struggled for a smile, and for a moment, his grief grew overwhelming, his chest aching and his eyes stinging with tears. "I know it's stupid, but I could really use a hug right now." It was always so weird, how he could be okay during his day-to-day life, how sometimes he barely even thought of her on a crazy day with Flash business, but it was always the quiet moments where it hit him the hardest. Fifteen years, and sometimes he still expected her to be home when he opened the door. He sniffed once and then rubbed the back of his hand against his nose. "Love you, Mom."

Barry shoved himself up and climbed to his feet, taking his time and walking the path, even though he knew he had a million other things to do and should probably have just flashed out as soon as he was done. Instead, he dug his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Len's number.

It rang once, twice, and then a message: _The customer you are trying to reach isn't accepting calls at this time._

Stupid time travel.

Barry sighed once he reached the gates to the cemetery, and then he looked around for any passersby before he sped away. He had a ton of stuff to do, and there was dinner at Joe's house tonight. His mom wouldn't have wanted him to be sad anyway.

~*~

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Keep You With Me (The Life After Death Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7649299) by [dancesontrains](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancesontrains/pseuds/dancesontrains)




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